chicken pot pie

as a suffering graduate student, i must confess that my biggest weakness for frozen dinners are marie callender's chicken pot pies. those delicious little devils have gotten me through many a "crap, it's nine thirty and i haven't eaten yet" realization. the big ones? i can take one of those down in no time at all before returning to my cave to write label copy and mutter darkly about ADA guidelines for text length keeping me down.

they are also demonically fattening and i only recently realized the serving size is for two.

whoopsie.

i mean, i'd still eat this entire pie by myself. just hunker down in front of house of cards with my giant pie and eat my feelings. as i have roommates, this did not happen. they also ate pie. i still watched house of cards and ate my feelings, only with less pie. (sidenote: please tell me someone else watches house of cards because i am so angry at frank underwood right now and i need someone to share this anger with.) this is that pie.

4 tbsp butter
1 finely diced onion
4 diced celery stalks
3 diced carrots
1 lb shredded cooked chicken
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup milk
3 cups chicken broth
salt and pepper
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1 pie crust

cook onions, carrots, and celery in butter on medium-low heat until softened. add flour and stir to coat the veg. this is making a roux. we're fancy now.

add broth and milk and let it cook and thicken. add seasonings and chicken and let it hang out, stirring frequently for about ten minutes. it will thicken, i assure you, but if it starts to thicken too much, add a splash of chicken broth to thin it a bit.

if you're a human being who has your shit together, pour the filling into a baking dish. if you are me and do not have your shit together, pour the filling into whatever baking vessel is available. i used maurice, my trusty le creuset dish that i think is technically a large-ish au gratin pan.

apply the pie dough. confession time: i am utterly inept at pie crust. every time i've ever attempted pie crust, something has always gone badly. i think it's because i'm terrible at regulating temperatures and then butter starts oozing and it's just terribly unpleasant for everyone involved. mainly me. i have nightmares about rolling piecrust sometimes and wake up screaming. this is a long way of saying that i used a frozen pie crust but if you can make your own pie crust i A) envy you and wish to know your secrets and B) go for it.

cut some cute little vents in the top of the crust, slap some egg wash on there, and throw that pie in the oven at 375 degrees for about twenty five minutes to half an hour, keeping an eye on it because if you're like me,
you will wind up burning at least one corner of the pie.

now for the most important step. you ready? this is big.

LET IT COOL FOR AT LEAST TEN MINUTES THE INSIDES ARE HOTTER THAN THE CITY OF POMPEII. YOU WILL LITERALLY BURN YOUR MOUTH OFF.

after this, slice it up, dish it up, and take it to the face.