chicago chicken + a taste of home

this was my very favorite dinner when i was a kid. hell, it's still my very favorite dinner as a twenty three year old. i vividly remember always requesting it for my birthday dinner growing up and when i'm coming home and my mother asks me what i want for dinner, i ask for this.

how you open a can when you are left handed

we call it chicago chicken and lord knows why. i grew up in northern illinois and i've eaten my fair share of chicken in chicago and this has never been on the menu. my mother got it as a recipe from a friend in the late eighties and it's been a family staple ever since. the cranberries and western dressing create a lovely tang and the onion soup mix mellows it all out. it's blessedly unfancy and delicious and, for me, tastes like home.

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts.
1 can whole cranberries (it has to be whole cranberries - i promise it's worth digging for.)
1 package onion soup mix
1 bottle western dressing

this is a marvelously simple recipe, one of those one bowl, dump and stir wonders. preheat the oven to 350. combine dressing, cranberry sauce, and soup mix into a bowl. pour over chicken breasts and bake for one hour. boom. done. serve with mashed potatoes (pour the sauce over the potatoes and chicken. remember, you trust me.) and something fresh and green and you've got prime comfort food.

and probably me coming over for dinner.

double chip cookies

if i had a child, i would probably get child services called on me in a week. tops.

i mean, my hobbies include drinking copious amounts of aldi wine (winking owl chardonnay: for when only have three dollars to spend on wine this week) and staring lustfully at pictures of aaron tveit online (shut up you don't know my life but look how handsome). i've managed to keep a fish alive for three months but i'm still waiting for him to drop. i don't separate my laundry into colors because who do i look like? martha stewart? psh.

but i do make a mean cookie and have excellent taste in television. if i had a child, i suppose i would park them in front of full house reruns. i mean, i watched full house as a child and turned out okay so i guess danny tanner is a good influence. i'm felony free and a college graduate. i'm even employed now. thanks danny tanner!

i would also probably bake them these cookies. i mean, kids like cookies, right? i certainly did. i certainly do. i don't have much of a sweet tooth but i feel like you're not human if you don't love a good cookie. i like-like these cookies. i love these cookies a lot. they're salty and sweet with that gooey, perfect center that you want from a decent chocolate chip cookie. leave the chips out and add another half cup of chocolate chips and you'll have one hell of a chocolate chip cookie on your hands. and hell, if your hypothetical kid doesn't have nut allergies? go right ahead and add a handful of chopped walnuts. these cookies are meant to be trashed up. they love it.

1 cup crushed potato chips
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips
1 stick softened butter
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 1/4 cups AP flour

makes 18 cookies

combine the flour, salt, and baking soda in one bowl. in a separate bowl, beat together the butter and sugars until combined. everyone always says "light and fluffy" but i have never seen fluffy sugars and butter in all my days. beat in the eggs and vanilla until smooth.

add wet ingredients to dry and beat until smooth. gently (GENTLY.) fold in the crushed chips and chocolate chips.

with floured hands, eyeball tablespoonish gobs of dough (again, this is the scientific term) and place on a lined baking sheet (i am uncouth and use foil for everything but if you have parchment paper, that's cool). bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes. keep an eye on it though - these can go from golden brown to "a little toasty" to "oh my god grab the fire extinguisher" in the blink of an eye.

let cool for at least ten minutes before attacking. no seriously, you'll regret it if you don't.

man, my hypothetical kid would love these.

(as it is, my roommates love these. one requested a large dr. pepper, two tylenol, and a cookie for her afternoon break.)

(do you think aaron tveit likes cookies?)

shredded chicken tacos

i think i've been in love with tacos all my life and never realized it.

as a kid, i was extremely passionate about the chicken soft tacos at taco bell. just the chicken and cheese and may god help anyone if i found a tomato. tomatoes took me right out of the taco bell experience of cheap and questionable (but delicious) "mexican" food. no more tacos for me, just the cinnatwists thank you. as we all know, cinnatwists are the finest of mexican delicacies.

oh cinnatwists, my love. it has been too long.


but i mean, look at that taco. there are vegetables. and fancy cheese. and guacamole. my taco horizons have surely expanded but my love for a good chicken soft taco never left me. somewhere under than mound of vegetables and cheese is a mound of hot, seasoned shredded chicken that will knock you on your ass. it's not terribly spicy - despite the addition of hot sauce - but it's got a kick to it. a delicious kick. so make these tacos, okay? i promise you'll like them.

1 pound bonless, skinless chicken breast (or you can use one pound bone-in chicken breasts your life. your tacos.)
1 pouch of el paso roasted tomato sauce
2 tbsp taco seasonings (i make my own, hence the measurements. a packet of taco seasoning should do it but come on. make your own. it's not hard.)
1/2 tbsp cumin
2 crushed cloves garlic
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tbsp vegetable oil
hot sauce (optional but you really should)
taco fixins

fun fact i nearly burned off all of my arm hair taking this picture. the things i do for art.

pound your chicken breasts flat using either a meat mallet, the bottom of a wine bottle, or your fists. remember, this is an excellent outlet for your rage at your inability to find a job, the patriarchy, or your leasing company who won't let you keep your garbage can outside of the garage like a sensible human being. i mean. at the patriarchy.

seasonings and friends.

heat a tablespoon of vegetable oil and give the chicken breasts a quick sear. it cuts down on cooking time and i feel like it seals in chicken-y flavor.

yes that's the professional culinary term.

once the chicken breasts are seared, add tomato sauce and seasonings. add enough water to cover the chicken and simmer on medium-high for twenty minutes to half an hour or whenever the chicken is fully cooked.

remove chicken from stove and let cool. don’t dump out the liquid! that’s where the flavor is! (note: i was a moron and hungry and tried to shred the chicken when it was fresh from the boiling liquid WITH MY FINGERS DO NOT FOLLOW MY EXAMPLE.) give it a minute to cool down and then shred with two forks. if you have giant chunks that won't shred, don't be afraid to go at it with a knife.

pop the shredded chicken back into the liquid and crank up the heat. both literally and figuratively because

like you can use another hot sauce but if you aren't using sriracha i'm going to judge you.

you’re going to add a squirt of hot sauce. you can skip this step if you are a pantywaist and don’t like heat but come on. everyone’s doing it.

bring to a violent boil, tossing meat frequently.  i wish i could give you better timing but look, you’ll know when it’s ready. it’s ready when the taste test is nice and scrummy. that’s when it’s ready.

remove chicken from the liquid. naw, don't worry about saving the liquid. these are juicy enough without them. add a squirt of lime juice, toss, sprinkle  and serve with tasty taco fixins.


note: these are incredibly messy so i do not suggest eating them around someone you want to impress. eat them around someone who loves you enough to love you even when you have cilantro in your teeth and chicken juice all over your hands.

now this is good eating. blows chicken soft tacos from taco bell out of the water.

now if i only had some cinnatwists.