double chip cookies

if i had a child, i would probably get child services called on me in a week. tops.

i mean, my hobbies include drinking copious amounts of aldi wine (winking owl chardonnay: for when only have three dollars to spend on wine this week) and staring lustfully at pictures of aaron tveit online (shut up you don't know my life but look how handsome). i've managed to keep a fish alive for three months but i'm still waiting for him to drop. i don't separate my laundry into colors because who do i look like? martha stewart? psh.

but i do make a mean cookie and have excellent taste in television. if i had a child, i suppose i would park them in front of full house reruns. i mean, i watched full house as a child and turned out okay so i guess danny tanner is a good influence. i'm felony free and a college graduate. i'm even employed now. thanks danny tanner!

i would also probably bake them these cookies. i mean, kids like cookies, right? i certainly did. i certainly do. i don't have much of a sweet tooth but i feel like you're not human if you don't love a good cookie. i like-like these cookies. i love these cookies a lot. they're salty and sweet with that gooey, perfect center that you want from a decent chocolate chip cookie. leave the chips out and add another half cup of chocolate chips and you'll have one hell of a chocolate chip cookie on your hands. and hell, if your hypothetical kid doesn't have nut allergies? go right ahead and add a handful of chopped walnuts. these cookies are meant to be trashed up. they love it.

1 cup crushed potato chips
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips
1 stick softened butter
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 1/4 cups AP flour

makes 18 cookies

combine the flour, salt, and baking soda in one bowl. in a separate bowl, beat together the butter and sugars until combined. everyone always says "light and fluffy" but i have never seen fluffy sugars and butter in all my days. beat in the eggs and vanilla until smooth.

add wet ingredients to dry and beat until smooth. gently (GENTLY.) fold in the crushed chips and chocolate chips.

with floured hands, eyeball tablespoonish gobs of dough (again, this is the scientific term) and place on a lined baking sheet (i am uncouth and use foil for everything but if you have parchment paper, that's cool). bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes. keep an eye on it though - these can go from golden brown to "a little toasty" to "oh my god grab the fire extinguisher" in the blink of an eye.

let cool for at least ten minutes before attacking. no seriously, you'll regret it if you don't.

man, my hypothetical kid would love these.

(as it is, my roommates love these. one requested a large dr. pepper, two tylenol, and a cookie for her afternoon break.)

(do you think aaron tveit likes cookies?)